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I wrote a thing

1. When he says he never cared at all, do not, even for one second, doubt every moment that you ever spent with him, or allow him to turn your memories into lies. You have a terrible habit of letting horrible words overrule beautiful actions, and although he screamed the words at you, and the actions were subtle little things, do not allow this to fool you. He’s lying because he hurts, and he thinks hurting you will make him feel better. And maybe it will work, but guilt will set in later and he’ll break himself even more than he broke you.

2. When you feel as though your entire world is breaking apart, step outside. Remember that there are stars in the sky, and not just in his eyes. Remember that the world is still turning, and you are still living, even though he is not here. Remember that he isn’t gravity, you are not drifting away and he is not the only thing keeping you on this planet. Remember that he is not your world after all, because there was a time before him when everything was okay, and there will be a time after too.

3. Let yourself cry, it’s okay. Let yourself scream for everything you’ve lost, mourn it all, because that’s okay too. Just don’t lose control. Do whatever you need to do to pick yourself up, but remember that quote about how the sky is in your veins and ripping them open will cause storm. Don’t get caught in a storm, don’t spiral out of control.

4. When the day comes that you should see him again, do not expect him to be the same. His voice will have changed and there will be a hardness in his eyes. He will make no move to touch you, and you must expect and accept this. Do not allow yourself to cry, because he will remain indifferent, and your tears will only thicken the wall of ice he built around himself. Instead, be brave and allow him to see that you are repairing yourself, and that he may have ripped the furniture out of the house, but he did not rip apart it’s foundations. You will become somebody else’s home.

5. Do not listen to a word he says in his new monotone voice. Even if he apologises, do not listen. He proved that his words cannot be trusted when he said he never loved you; he loved you more than he will ever love another, but he still did not love you the way you deserved to be loved. Your definitions of loving and being loved were entirely different, but not everyone’s will be.

6. Do not forgive him. It’s okay to still love him, but it is not okay to forgive him, so turn around and run.
Run run run, and never look back.
Even if you feel as though he is chasing you, don’t ever look back. Run towards the person that will love you how you love them, who will love you how you deserve to be loved. You will be okay, this isn’t the end for you. I promise that you will be okay.